Wednesday, June 17, 2009

Task1aiii)Boy found love.Friend stole it.

She was the only one i would ever truly love.She had all the qualities i had ever wanted in my dream girl.Her name was Lisa and she was beautiful,she had a bubbly personality and she had such radiant skin.The best part of all this was that I think she had feelings for me too.I was planning on finally professing my love to her but I was too late,my friend Johnny had already lied and told her bad things about me that were not true .I knew what Johnny's intentions were,he was envious of me and wanted to make me feel hurt.He knew that I loved her really deeply and that gave him even more reason to try to hurt me and he succeded.I had known all along that he had designs on her but i never expected him to hurt me so badly since he already knew i was in love with her.His plan worked out perfectly,Lisa bought all those stories he told her about me and she started to see me as nothing more than a low life scumbag.I tried everything to convince her that i truly loved her and that those stories were not true but she refused to believe me.That jerk had done it,he had totally wrecked the only chance at a releationship i would ever be in and till thi very day,I just can't forgive him for what he had done and I had never gotten into a releationship again cause i know he would just be waiting to destroy it again.That monster will pay for what he has done.Retribution and Karma will strike when he leasts expects it and i will be there,just ready to enjoy his pain and suffering and he will finally know what it means to make me hurt.

1 comment:

  1. You have potential as a writer. Your language foundation is clearly quite strong. Also, you have a good writing voice - I can "hear" the emotions in your words.

    I just think you need to stretch your wings a little. Details are always good, especially when they reflect your feelings in the narrative. Dialogue too.

    Here, for example, elaborate on what your friend said about you. Also why is he your friend if he is such an awful person? Are you torn between your friend and the girl (I suspect not)?

    A good writer entices his audience and makes them care about what is going to happen.

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